Songs in the Key of Love

So this post has been in my mind for a while, finally taking the time to get it out online.

Some people can define their relationships through places they visited with their partner, or food they ate together. I think it’s most common to define relationships through music. Thinking back on the men I’ve dated, I can relate a song to each one and what that song means to me when I hear it.

High school: The first big deal. The sun rose and set based on him, because I was 16 and what did I know?

He loved Cam’ron. Like, loved him. Loved Dipset, knew all the words. In my mind, the music was gibberish and I told him as much on many occasions. But over time, I began to enjoy the music for the creativity and spontaneity. It didn’t matter that half of what Cam’ron  said was made up. Just have fun. That was the attitude I took with me to college.

Lenten Season

So every year I have to temper myself from this grand idea of giving up something grand for the occasion. I wouldn’t say I’m the biggest adherent to the letter of organized religion. In my ideal world, I’d attend the best church ever and every message would resonate within my spirit. I would follow every commandment, have no impure thoughts and all would be right in the world. But the reality is that life is a series of very complicated choices, and it is a struggle to retain a Christ-like attitude toward everything and everyone.

I cheated a bit and this Lent season. I’m repeating the concept of reducing the extraneous noise of life that, in many ways, defines my life: social media. For many, this is a fun way to connect with friends, family and the personalities they connect with, be they actors, musicians, thinkers and doers and those in their chosen field. Through reading personal and professional accounts of people I follow, social media has become as ubiquitous as eating and sleeping. Their phones or iPads are constantly by their sides from the moment they wake up. And Heaven forbid that facebook or twitter be down, whatever will they do with those 30 minutes of being disconnected from “life.” I don’t intend this to be a judgement but a review of the things that I hold important in my life. Will I allow myself to be that person who “has” to check twitter before I even wash my face and brush my teeth? Will I be that person that cannot enjoy the moment because I’m already thinking of how I want to present this in a Facebook post later?

For this reason, what better time to step away than in the season of Lent? I had a great text conversation with my boyfriend about what we were giving up between now and Easter and, more importantly, what we were gaining from the sacrifice. For him, he is regaining a focus on his health and wellness by focusing on healthy eating and exercise. He ultimately wants to train people, imparting his knowledge to transform their physical and mental wellbeing.

In our conversation, he told me that Lent relates to the period in which Jesus wanders the desert, being tempted by the Devil prior to beginning his ministries. Believers use this time to grow spiritually, and I believe that the time that I’ve dedicated to chatting and various gossip and fashion sites can be more beneficial when spent focused on my relationship with God. Not sure if this means that I will become the lead tambourine woman in the Sunday choir but it surely will bring me more peace of mind in the long run. And who knows, I may keep it going after I don my tangerine dream skirt suit on Easter Sunday!

So Then This Happened…

The first week of work, let me tell you…I’ve not had it better in my professional career. Warm people, hard work, great brainstorming on my first business trip for the company. Our hosts were so welcoming, and I can’t wait to work with them further.

So I go in, head held high and ready to take on the second week. Case of the Mondays has nothing on me! I have made it a personal goal to listen to the Our Daily Bread Bible study podcasts every morning on the way to work. Rather than zone out and miss an opportunity to start my day off on the right foot, I can catch two-three of the mini-sermons and learn more.

After a great lunch with coworkers in my department, fostering relationships and such, I’m walking up the three mini-stairs back to the office with a slight pep in my step despite the rain. Did I mention the rain…yeah, the rain. My downfall. Next thing I know, I’m on the ground. It was a moment straight from my favorite cartoon “Family Guy,” where he falls on the ground and sucks air through his teeth in a comedic show of pain. Except this was QUITE real and painful. I think I laid down in defeat for a second, really and truly.

Upon inspection I have a nicely bruised knee and torn skin on the heels of both my palms. I do believe I’ve been brought back to reality. But that still can’t bring me down. Second week, let’s go!

*This was me, laying in the rain. I would post pictures but they are kind of gross, no one wants to see exposed second layers of skin*

Resolution… or Just Do It

I’m not a huge believer in resolutions. If you have a resolve to do something useful and dynamic, something outside of your norm that you think will take your life beyond, start immediately. Why wait for some special time of your life, like a 30th birthday or January 1?

So this won’t be a post about how I’m going to be so much more awesome in 2012, and how I’m going to do things differently for the new year. I’ve been reflecting on how to improve my professional profile, connections and knowledge for a while. In my personal life, I learn from my conversations with family, friends and my significant other and that informs the decisions I make.

As I’ve grown older, I recognize my personal symptoms of ennui: a sense of restlessness, a general irritation at stagnation. These all propel me into action to get beyond my “wall.”

Moving into the new job (gulp!), I am finding inspiration in a book I’m reading: Sophia Nelson’s Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Obama. I initially heard Ms. Nelson speak at the professional development conference from the Young Professionals subgroup of the Urban League of Greater Dallas. Although we are separated by a generation, and lots of income, her passion for empowering men and women to recognize their own power to make a change in themselves, their communities and their companies, whether they work for themselves or someone else, stayed with me after the event was over. I’ve been following her on Twitter, and she is prolific in her communication. She hosts #KnowURValue chats that bring some good advice from her community, and takes me to church almost every morning. Suffice it to say, you need to get up on her book.

Now that I’ve enjoyed a quiet New Year celebration, no club for me thank you very much, I’m enjoying these black eyed peas, cornbread and coleslaw. My prayers go to you and yours in 2012. Start it on the right foot with a prayer/meditation and then go be awesome!

What’s on my mind – December 19, 2011

This week has been full of pop culture conversations. Just wanted to share some of the things I’ve been discussing with friends.

The “If I Were A Poor Black Kid” article: No one article has been more discussed and derided in my circle of friends and on the blogs I read than this article from Forbes writer Gene Marks. Upon reading it, I initially shook my head and gave it a simple “really dude?!” and kept moving. However, over the days following I read some very impassioned responses to the uninformed ignorance that Marks tried to pass off as actionable advice for children in poverty. The Root has done a nice roundup of the articles; my favorite is from Cord Jefferson at Good. I’d love to see an actual response from Gene Marks. I may be wishing upon a star for that one.

The recent report on obesity, Black women and self-esteem: I had mixed feelings about this report. On the one hand, it’s fantastic that these women, according to the findings of the study, don’t feel that their feelings of worth are dependent upon their weight. On the other hand, the staggering numbers about obesity in the African American community cannot be ignored. Shaming women into weight loss is not a solution. An honest conversation about how to improve access to fresh foods, knowledge about fit lifestyles and changing values about childhood nutrition is the beginning.

The This Week in Blackness blog: hilarious and I almost cried laughing while listening. A definite must-read blog.

Don’t Hide Your Light Under a Bushel

If there is one edict that has stayed with me from my impatient youth to 26-going-on-27, it’s that if you use patience and wait out the tide, eventually it turns and everything gets better. I posted back in October that some days are just “might don’t make it days,” where you have to chalk it up that life has the better of you and keep it moving. And sometimes those days string together to the point where you wonder where the end is.

After the past week I’ve had, I feel like I’m on a mountaintop after coming through a valley. And I’m not hiding my light and blessing under a bushel. On Friday a long-sought job offer came through. It was such an overwhelming feeling after a few seasons of feeling like my skill set was lacking, after getting the “sorry but no” call or email or no call at all (which is so incredibly unprofessional I can’t even speak on that). I went to my mental prayer closet before I got the call. I’ve always liked that concept, taking your prayers and desires straight up on high. No interruptions, no distractions, just a conversation. One shouldn’t reject the path He chooses, and that was my desire: to understand that if the answer was no, it didn’t mean “never” it meant “not right now.”

When I got off the phone, I was shaking like I’d just been in a fender bender (speaking from experience here). Hands shaking, nerves slightly raw. It was just joy, coursing through my veins. With this new opportunity, I feel a rejuvenation of energy. If there is one thing I can’t take, it’s stagnancy. Whether it’s work, education, friendships or romantic relationships, I think you should always be moving forward. Discovering new things, new concepts, new levels. In no way am I disparaging any past loves or jobs, but you do reach a fork in the road sometimes and you have to decide which way you’re going to go. It’s feeling like a road less traveled right now, but I know I chose the right one.

When the Best Intentions Go Awry

Wow, I had every intention of blogging regularly this month. Time ran away like it’d stolen my wallet. I looked up and it was Thanksgiving, which was doubly important to me this year with my sister being in town. So my brain was on “gorge stomach with food and wine, sit around watching judge shows, laugh and enjoy family/friends” mode. And I loved every moment of it.

Now it’s final papers, which are truly kicking my butt. I had a moment last night, after spending three hours on the paper and feeling like all I did was move text around on the page. A good Google search told me that literature reviews can easily read as annotated bibliographies, and I need to be cognizant of keeping an analytic eye as I parse the literature. I’m struggling with that because I feel like James Woods in that episode of Family Guy. You know the one…

Except my exclamations are “Ooh, a good article! Ooh, a good article!” on LexisNexis, JSTOR, EBSCO and all those fantastic research databases. As I told my family, my intention in pursuing my degree was to be challenged, yes, but I also want to be super awesome at it all. I knew when I woke up this morning, after only four-five hours of sleep (not even good sleep at that), and I was already in a crap mood that it was time to take a deep breath. I have to realize that more than likely, no one will fail me so long as I’ve put forth a sincere effort, which I have. And while my classmates were lamenting their draft reviews, I only got grammatical corrections. (Not bragging…okay, maybe a little bit.)

I’m back on it tonight, but I’m switching gears to my other beautiful project, a content analysis. At this point, that seems like a piece of cake…Ooh, a piece of cake!

XOXO